awareness

"There is no such thing as a dispassionate ethicist. Writer and reader alike have histories of sexual experience or inexperience, of hopes realised or deferred, of longings or aversions, of fulfilment or frustration, of fears, anxieties, delights, regrets. Our histories condition our beliefs. Each of us has an inbuilt bias towards a belief system that justifies our history, like 'the adulteress...[who] says, "I have done no wrong"' (Prov 30:20). Even individuals who do not enjoy or desire an experience or who feel that it is wrong, may develop more favourable attitudes as a way of rationalising their own previous choices or situation as an attempt at dissonance control." 

— Loc 360, Christopher Ash's "Marriage: Sex in the service of God" Kindle Version.

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