almost 6

I'm still a fledging preacher on this delicate journey with my Lord and His earthly Church. It has always been my prayer that I speak not loftily nor concern myself with stringing together a confusion of concepts and miss the heart of the Word, and the heart of the listener. But, 6 months in, I do know this: When stripped of any need to please the ones that fill my earthly coffers and fleshly self-worth, I find my Lord speaking into my life and moulding me in areas where I need the most work. Painful, yet joyful. Each time I'm to preach, everything that happens around me and to me comes together to drive my sermon into my splagchna, my inmost parts. Painful, yet joyful. And I'm never the same. The preacher has no one but herself to preach to first and foremost; however the words eventually leave her lips to those who have ears is of secondary importance (to her, at least). Although off the cuff articulation, crowd pleasing, smooth-witty-repartee with detailed wonder of the Word is not my forte, at least, as I open myself before my Lord in preparation of every sermon, the Words that resound in my mind's eye (usually in writing) cut my very heart. The dross burns, I'm strengthened in faith, restored in Spirit, and reminded to Preach unashamedly the Words of Life. And to live it in Grace and Truth.

May the day that I'm numb to the Words of Life in a frantic bid to churn out humanly impressive ideals never come. Lord have mercy.