redeeming relationships
How can we, as Christians, build proper friendships between sexes if we are always assessing the other gender as 'potential partners' the moment we set our eyes on them? How can we maintain godly friendships with the opposite gender if we are always in it for something? I have seen (and myself experienced with much alarm) how chemistry too often seems to barge its way in front of charity (Agape)—and when these chemical reactions fizzle out, relationships fizzle out. Such a friendship sadly becomes a neutralised solution and is poured down the drain because there is nothing left in it for both parties. My observation has been that because of these expectations and intentions, common recipients of such attention become either too weary, big-headed and/or wary; common givers become disillusioned and depressed when they are not reciprocated.
If we do not consciously lay the foundation of even our friendships and relationships in Christ, seeing one another first and foremost as brothers and sisters-in-Christ, and loving one another in unconditional charity just as Christ loved us (John 13:34–35) and gave Himself up for us (Eph 5:2); if we do not consciously reject the world's fallen view of eros (lust), phileo (brotherly) and storge (familial) love, and continue to seek only our own interests above others' and ignore God's will for us to love as Christ loved us—I can only see these gifts of cross-gender attraction failing to meet its wonderful role in our lives as intended by the Maker and crumbling with sin one day. And there will be nothing left to hold us together but disunity and strife.
Lord have mercy.
"Every friendship is formed around shared goods that identify the friendship and help the friends understand the life and purpose of the friendship. In spiritual friendship the principal good is a mutual love for Christ and a desire to grow together in Christ. This is what distinguishes spiritual friendship from other relationships. In spiritual friendships the friends are centred in Christ, they seek Christ, and they strive to live according to Christ. Through their friendship they want to help one another live a godly and holy life. They want each other to be resplendent in goodness." (Paul J. Wadell)
If we do not consciously lay the foundation of even our friendships and relationships in Christ, seeing one another first and foremost as brothers and sisters-in-Christ, and loving one another in unconditional charity just as Christ loved us (John 13:34–35) and gave Himself up for us (Eph 5:2); if we do not consciously reject the world's fallen view of eros (lust), phileo (brotherly) and storge (familial) love, and continue to seek only our own interests above others' and ignore God's will for us to love as Christ loved us—I can only see these gifts of cross-gender attraction failing to meet its wonderful role in our lives as intended by the Maker and crumbling with sin one day. And there will be nothing left to hold us together but disunity and strife.
Lord have mercy.
"Every friendship is formed around shared goods that identify the friendship and help the friends understand the life and purpose of the friendship. In spiritual friendship the principal good is a mutual love for Christ and a desire to grow together in Christ. This is what distinguishes spiritual friendship from other relationships. In spiritual friendships the friends are centred in Christ, they seek Christ, and they strive to live according to Christ. Through their friendship they want to help one another live a godly and holy life. They want each other to be resplendent in goodness." (Paul J. Wadell)
Grr, I commented and it seems to have vanished. :(
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I strongly agree. If we put a Christian understanding of deep and attentive friendship first and at the heart of our understanding of relationships between the sexes both within and outside of marriage, we will have a far more positive vision for relating men and women together than one that focuses primarily upon physical attraction and values people largely on the basis of their sex appeal, and ability to satisfy our desires.