my first "official" preaching assignment.

the entire journey was amazing, hearing from God and knowing what He wants me to speak on and receiving confirmation after that this was what they needed to hear... and at the right time, no less. God's time.

just to share a bit of details the cause of my joy...

1) the topic. 

i wrestled much because i decided to take an open topic. this was in June i think, so i had a lot of time to prepare. but how much time can a seminary student spend preparing for something that isn't academically mandatory? (i say this with a lot of sarcasm in case you couldn't detect it :p) nonetheless, prayer is always a good start, they say. i think. i saw dr GilbSH's book and thought of the book of John, and i thought it would be a motivating factor for me to finish reading his book if i were to preach on John. so i began reading John daily as QT, but instead it brought me healing and release with issues of integrity of service that i was struggling with. 

somehow i still didn't feel settled, so i continued to pray. like how you know seminary days pass, in a flash it was already September, and i was still without topic nor passage. John was really no simple book and i was happily going a bit mad reading it chiasmatically (a good thing, really, i'd love to dwell on it sometime). too many themes, too little inspiration (for what i should preach). then end of september came. for some reason, the ghost of Chris Wright suddenly resurfaced in conversations around me, and i thought about Gen 12:1–3. somehow it excited me and the burden came, and i checked with Peter what missions was like in his church. he gave me a thoughtful answer that befit the thoughtful Peter, and the line of God's mission for His people it was. 1 Oct. one month left.

2) the sermon crafting.

again, i'm no seasoned speaker so it was daunting. October is crunch time, so i dedicated myself to praying for myself and the congregation, reading through and absorbing the context and applying dear mr Lang's Hermeneutics equipping which was most useful. so were the parallelisms and chiasms :p i borrowed 6 books in advance and forgot to read and renew them. it cost me $2.40 and chiding from my dad who checks my borrowing status more often than i do. anyway, after exam week, i had 10 days to fully prepare. i'm still not the best in writing sermons so i thought i couldn't really do anything else but the sermon. actually, i was wrong.

that week was the Global Leadership Summit. i toyed with the idea of not attending completely, but somehow i felt that i had to go. and of course, not waste the subsidy from the school (5 bowls of blk 6 prawn mee that i could have eaten). i went for only the morning sessions, and was instead ministered to in terms of leading ministry direction for church. the second day's session gave me my sermon illustration that summed up everything i'd wanted to say. Eldee and i turned to look at each other after Pranitha's sharing and no prizes we were thinking the same thing. ;) Bel and Eldee also generously shared with me their own homiletics assignments which helped me make sense of things.

i even managed to set aside a couple of evenings hanging out with dear friends and jamming, albeit i shelved an assignment that was extended till next Friday (another grace). sounds like a balanced lifestyle.

(ok i realise it isn't "a bit of details" anymore but if you've read this far, i thank thee. finishing soon liao kk.)

the writings were underway, commentaries gave good quotes and insight, and i was progressing well... then the next natural sequence of event was to get stuck. each time it happened i prayed, and i got unstuck. then i finally got stuck on what was the most important application point and for a good excruciating 3 days, i did not know how to proceed. too much to say but not all should be said. time was running out. i prayed again. then on Friday, i ran into lecturers during lunch who offered me tips. dr SGoh gave me the Xenophobia idea. but i still couldn't put it into coherent sentences.

it was YF time later, i was still swirling. but during our pre-YF prayer, Rose opened prayer, and she blessed God with the exact words out of the passage I was preaching. i had nothing but Amens in my heart, but the sermon hopped into my mind again. yet as she went on, suddenly the words appeared in my head. i knew that was it but i still had to keep my head bowed in silence and not yell out in excitement typical of yours truly.

i happily drank tea that cool evening and the caffeine and adrenaline kept me going at the sermon till 2 plus.

the next day, Eldee and Evan vetted through and poked holes which i hope i filled up. (at least i know wasn't preaching heresy.)

so.

keynote slides (i have a strange thing for doing slides): check. 

sermon notes for congregation: check. 

emailed Peter my tech rider for Sunday: check.

breathe: check. 

have a lovely korean BBQ dinner with mom and sis: check.

3) the day itself.

it was a small congregation, but i received a sober reflection that it is of no importance how big or how small the congregation is. what is of importance is that it is God's will and Word that is spoken, and that it is to God's people it is being spoken to. even if it is to but a person. if i ever lose that sight, please whack me on the head and rebuke me to my face. i give you permission.

their guitarist didn't come, so i offered to play. i knew by heart 3 of 4 songs, and i was thinking to myself that perhaps for this very moment (as were many moments) it was God's purpose for me to have gone through that entire journey of angst, folly and disobedience, through which i discovered and developed my love and gift for music. i worshipped.

i also managed to speak to a couple of the younger ones after the service, and challenged them. (btw, Evan, they're Christina's cousins! small small world.) i pray that God will continue to work in their lives yes. i've been on challenge mode for a few days now — somehow i feel challenging-challenged, and challenged to challenge by God. 

anyway, it was a blessed journey really, and i pray that i will not ever turn jaded or start relying on my own strength in doing His work.

for indeed, as Evan aptly put it, it is "for this I toil, struggling with all his energy that He powerfully works within me." 

(Colossians 1:29 ESV; read the context of what "this" is, you know the drill.)

and i pray that God will (and already is!) use all of you, blessed and dearly beloved, to bless others around you too.

all glory be to God.

thank you for sharing in my joy,

b.