walk away

I feel like a kid who was once set loose in a candy shop, only to be kicked out after a week of indulgence — because I asked for it knowing that that was the right thing to do — in spite of myself.

...no longer a slave to sin; but a slave to righteousness.

No more similar mistakes; no longer the same.

So do I remember the propensity to slip and not go near it, or approach it victoriously because I am no longer who I used to be? What a tension, what wisdom required. Lord have mercy.

It is already for the better, although not yet.

Lord, will you honour my decision even though — it hurts?