finding balance and harmony

After almost a year of writing, re-writing, editing, and unfathomable amounts of God’s grace, I’ve finally published my first journal article.

Through this process, I have been reminded that any piece of writing is no solo effort, and am also deeply grateful that there exists communities of scholars who are willing to kindly challenge and incisively comment on my work—with Kingdom heart and mind. Thank you, Hans and Chris especially, for your invitation and relentless effort on this essential undertaking despite the pandemic situation!

Here’s an excerpt from the introductory chapter of the journal, which includes Peter C. Phan as guest editor and fellow Southeast Asian contributors:

“Last year (2020), the Editorial Board of the Indonesian Journal of Theology decided to expand the journal’s scope to “the wider academic theological discourse in today’s world Christianity, especially in the Asian context.” This comes after the journal has focused primarily on the Indonesian context in its first eight volumes (since July 2013). The current special issue on Christianities in Southeast Asia represents this new direction, and the collection is guided by that expanded vision to cultivate broader theological conversations, especially between and among theologians working in these locales.”

This article is also a very important one to me, because its first draft was what I had written for my first quarter in the Masters of Arts in Theology at Fuller, where I had the utter privilege of taking a year to discern the possibility and direction for doctoral studies. Thankfully, I discovered it soon enough: Getting to attend Dr Bill Dyrness’ Cultures of Modernism doctoral seminar on a Masters’ level gave me the space to explore questions that arose from my experiences growing up as a Christian and serving in pastoral ministry in Singapore, and articulate preliminary responses to those thoughts. Doors opened. Mercy poured forth. Two years, a pandemic, and some rigorous coursework later, the paper’s current published form contains thoughts and edits from new (and old) knowledge and insights from giants on whose shoulders I tiptoe—simultaneously critiquing myself and celebrating growth are strange and humbling waves to navigate.

This season of life, my journey continues, slowly but surely—asking questions on why we (the Church in Singapore) do liturgies the way we do, i.e. what are the internal/external/historical/theological reasons that have influenced our current practices, how we graciously ought to learn from ourselves, the Bible, and the world, and how these altogether impacts our witness and discipleship locally and globally. Paradoxically, as answers increase, so do questions. There is really no end to this; I do not and will never have all the answers, and this thought both disturbs and quiets my soul. 

But, at the very least, I pray that my studies may lead to how we as a Church in Singapore can better understand ourselves so as to humbly serve and be Christ in the world—while we await the return of the only One who has all the answers.

I still often wake up wondering why I have been bestowed with such an unlikely gift to behold and bear, since being fastidious and long suffering is seldom my poison of choice (although I must say that it is actually very fun to learn how real and relevant faith and life can be!). 

Nonetheless, grace found in the ebbs and flows of academia continue to assure me: I do not do this alone, and I cannot, either (phew). Slowly, but surely. And as always, for the glory of God.